Infertility and pregnancy loss are devastating. There are few things in the world that can make us feel so helpless and hopeless. For those of us who wish to have children but haven’t been able to or have chosen not to, being around people who can – who, let’s face it, are kind of everywhere – can make you feel like an isolated, crazy and unworthy alien. When we lose or terminate a pregnancy we are asked to “get over it” and move on, but our bodies know different. Even if we feel confident in a choice to terminate, our bodies have been through something unbelievably intense, and “getting over it” just isn’t always an option.
Our patriarchal society does not do a great job supporting women through non-birth pregnancy outcomes. The medical system treats our bodies as ones or zeros – pregnant bodies are on the radar and worthy of attention and treatment, but if that pregnancy ends in miscarriage or abortion we cease to exist, or so it can feel. Miscarriage and abortion are treated as something that didn’t happen, not something that did, and we are asked to carry the hidden histories of our bodies in silence and shame. It is inhumane. I strive to help women carve out a place to heal from reproductive trauma of every kind. We have to make this space for ourselves, because our society does not make it for us. Whether you have lost a pregnancy, chosen to end a pregnancy, been unable to get pregnant or have chosen to live child-free, I am committed to helping you find peace and safety within our insanely birth-focused culture.